BROCCOLI ON PIZZA
WHAT MADNESS IS THE WORLD COMING TO
sitting on a bench outside the post office
Across the street from the bakery called “the Provincial Ant” whose almond croissants taste like lemon and whose ordinary croissants taste like mediocrity. It’s raining, and a bit cold for May, and a three-year-old in a green coat just ran by screaming a mutilated version of “Oppa Gangnam Style.” I got another rejection for a short story last night. I missed my...
I don't want to work
I just want to watch videos of Golden Retrievers and babies UNTIL I DIE
started watching Moonrise Kingdom
ARRANGING A DATE THROUGH OKC AGAIN
YES I’M FUCKING SCARED
I need to:
1. Read a book 2. Watch a movie 3. Take a really long bike ride 4. Write a story 5. Paint something ridiculously complicated 6. Visit a new city 7. Feel less like a hopeless piece of shit Let’s be positive, shall we? I’ll replace that with “do all my other shit.”
I AM FUCKING SAD FOR NO REASON OKAY
also apparently angry whoops
the bad thing about binging on bitches gotta eat
Is that it is a sad reminder that yes, you can be totally fucking awesome and really fucking alone.
and then I ate another box of cookies
I haven’t made intelligent conversation in a fucking month.
I don't want to stereotype here
But included in my master’s program is a dude* who I think of as the UBERDEUTSCH. He is over six feet tall, extremely blonde, does all his work two weeks ahead of time, lines up the coffee pots after he washes them, speaks excellent English with a decidedly Teutonic accent, has a Deep Booming German Voice, and after a certain point at night will put on goofy German pop music from the 90s and...
I really like tortoises. I would never have one (because then I’d have to train up my niece to take care of it after I die, and also because if I had a Golden Retriever it would probably knock the tortoise over and All Would Be Sadness) but tortoises, man. They’re cool.
just had someone on okcupid ask if I have a Skype...
NO NO NO NO I mean, WHY DO YOU ASK
I have issues. I am blocking Captain Awkward, because I don’t think I can tolerate it at this point. I mean: I think it is a blog full of good advice, and some things have been helpful to me in the past, but right now it just makes me want to go into a fetal position and put my hands over my head, because while I get the principles I am apparently incapable of actually implementing...
I am fighting the good fight, seriously
I have run this same simulation four times now, and each and every time it refuses to do the analysis.
here's what kind of douchebag I am
I just charged Moonrise Kingdom to the credit card I share with my dad. It’s $9.99.
paprika chips for dinner
Does anyone else ever drink so much caffeine they...
I am buying Moonrise Kingdom and Pierrot le Fou off iTunes in the next 48 hours.
things that are apparently true
I am capable of sleeping five hours and waking up at four AM in order to work on a MATLAB script for my research project so I have something to talk with my supervisor about, and yet even if I sleep a full eight hours I cannot manage to get up and working on a presentation that is due TODAY in Industry Analysis that is FIFTEEN PERCENT OF MY GRADE because I refuse to stop reading “bitches...
left that last post up way too long
Every morning I sit at the kitchen table over a tall glass of water swallowing...– Jeanann Verlee, Good Girl. (via mirroir)
I want to sleep for a week.
An ode to my simmering hate-love of Captain...
Fuck Captain Awkward. Fuck Dear Sugar and fuck Dear Prudence and on back to Dear Abby and Ann Landers: fuck every last one of you. Fuck every glib advice columnist who ever held up other people’s problems for show and tell and a round of “At least I haven’t (shot my neighbor’s dog, screwed my boss’s daughter, been obsessed with the state of my son’s underwear.)” Fuck all those relieved sighs and...
today: today was the day for being a sociopathic...
And I’m not even exaggerating. Okay, maybe a little.
A Different Stripe: Not Writing It Down →
“Aren’t you going to write another book?” Then under that severe gaze of his that demanded the full truth, it just burst out of me. “I? No. Let me tell you why. As a little boy I often went on school trips. The trips were a lot of fun, but then the next day our teacher assigned us a…
the reason Matlab wasn't working for SIX HOURS
is because I NAMED ALL MY FILES WRONG
: how do depressed people stop themselves from... →
good-will-stuntin: contemplatingchicken: Because the only thing that seems to work in the midst of it is dull apathy. Like, “Well… that was stupid and inappropriate.” “Whatever.” from a not so much depressed as aloof young man: 1. Really blatant opportunities for random acts of kindness can help. Like,… I think #2 is closest to what I need to be practicing right now. As has been...
ahahaha trying to reassert my presence on Twitter
ahahaha it looks like I just shotgunned a bunch of espresso and typed desperately at whoever I could think of which is actually what happened
how do depressed people stop themselves from...
Because the only thing that seems to work in the midst of it is dull apathy. Like, “Well… that was stupid and inappropriate.” “Whatever.”
and don't worry
All this shit will go private soon, but I need to vent.
today has been alternately okay good and holy shit...
I succeeded in making cake
I am a birthday triumph.
Trying to make a birthday cake for myself but midway through creaming the butter I started crying so time for a break. I can’t explain exactly.
day 3 of Operation Eat Ice Cream Every Day This...
Big fan of “Fairly Nuts” Ben & Jerry’s. Almond pralines for the win!
… AND EVEN SILLIER that I didn’t realize that one of the female leads is played by HELEN MIRREN.